


Going Through the Motions

by Nebbles



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: M/M, Timeskip, a wee bit of angst, dimiashe is good actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22379605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles
Summary: Even if Dimitri has changed, Ashe doesn't want to believe the old him, the one he grew to love, is gone forever.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert
Comments: 4
Kudos: 82





	Going Through the Motions

When Dimitri returns to Garreg Mach, Ashe isn’t fully sure what to expect. It’s been a tiring five years, fighting to survive alongside looking for Dedue alongside Dimitri.

Was it silly to expect the five years had hardly changed him? Perhaps, but even with what he witnessed in the Holy Tomb when the Flame Emperor’s mask fell, he wished to believe good still remained in Dimitri’s heart.

Ashe always did admire Dimitri, of course. That much goes without saying. It’s something he can’t fully shed, even as that one-eyed gaze threatened to pierce through him completely.

The other Lions seemed afraid to approach, and Felix has given up in its entirety, throwing the task to the professor.

Cage the wild boar, he says. He’s disgusting to look at.

Ashe cannot abide by those words. Dimitri is hurting -- he doesn’t deserve to be spat on any more than the Empire’s done to him.

Maybe he’s sensitive, because deep down, he knows those words add yet another layer of scars to his heart. And Ashe simply cares too much to let their future king -- his future king -- hurt further.

Dimitri keeps to his location in the cathedral, staring down at nothing. He hasn’t moved since then, and Ashe wonders if he’s slept any, or when his last proper meal was.

This alone drives him into the kitchen in the late of night. Their resources are few, and there’s only so much he can make.

It also occurs to Ashe he has no idea what Dimitri’s favorite dish is. Too shy he was to ever ask him upfront, or even try to coax the information out of Dedue.

But Dimitri needs to eat, even if it’s hardly the best he can offer. Ashe admits to himself he’s nervous. He’s always been polite and formal around Dimitri, given his status. Is making a meal for someone -- an act rather intimate in its own right - proper if he’s nothing more than someone trying to earn knighthood? Even if all those years ago, Dimitri smiled at him warmly and told Ashe to treat him as an equal?

Goddess, he’s a mess. Ashe doesn’t know if this is a sound idea, but he’s already begun plating. He isn’t sure how long he’s been here, staring at the plate in his hands, before forcing himself to head to where Dimitri is located.

-

“Go away.”

It’s the first thing he hears as his footsteps echo in the hollow cathedral. It still hurts to hear, even if it’s most of what Dimitri’s said to people.

“Your Highness, I…” Ashe swallows, batting away any last nerves, “I made you a proper meal. I imagine it’s been quite some time since you’ve had one.”

He doesn’t look over at all, but Ashe continues talking anyway. As long as he doesn’t admit he’s got a desperate crush on the future king, all is well. Nervous as he is to speak to Dimitri, letting that slip out is a terrible idea. It’s a terrible idea to be enamored with him anyway, given their stations, but Ashe discards that train of thought. He can sort out his feelings when the time is appropriate.

“You don’t have to join me in the Dining Hall to eat it. I’ll leave it here, even!” Hurriedly, he puts the plate on a nearby pew. “I-I just… I just want to make sure you’re eating. We’re all worried about you.”

“Hmph.” Is the only reply he gets. It’s not a fantastic one, but it means Dimitri is listening. It’s the only hope Ashe can cling to. 

“If you do eat it, I hope it’s to your liking.” And if he does like it, Ashe will make more. Though, he’s going to do that either way, isn’t he? His heart’s too good to do otherwise.

Dimitri still doesn’t look over at him. He’s still as the night air, head bowed towards the mass of rubble in front of them. Were this any other time, perhaps he would be praying for the Kingdom, or thinking of anything else other than revenge.

Ashe knows himself how it feels to want answers from those who took so much from you. He remembers the blinding anger he felt when facing those who used Lonato. To have it consume Dimitri like this hurts. There’s no other fancy words for it, or another way to put it. It  _ hurts. _

“I know how painful it is to lose others, Your Highness.” He says softly. “I wish I didn’t. But if you ever wish to speak about it, I’m willing to listen to you. ...As a friend, just as you want me to treat you.”

Dimitri looks back at him, for only a moment. Ashe wishes he could figure out what else lies behind his tired gaze, but cannot.

When more silence lapses, longer than before, Ashe decides to take his leave.

-

The next morning, he returns to see the plate barely touched. It’s not much of a start, but it’s something, and it’s enough for Ashe to return every night with a fresh meal in hand. Hardly any conversation is had, and Dimitri does barely enough to acknowledge that he’s still there. Sometimes, as he’s leaving, Ashe swears he hears footsteps and the scraping of a fork. 

Some nights, the plates are half-empty. Others, they’re still full. Ashe isn’t sure if it’s the varied dishes he’s making, or if his words are still lingering, or even having an affect on Dimitri. But he wants to believe he’s making a difference, no matter how small.

He wishes to do good. He must do good. His heart refuses to think otherwise. 

Others note how late he’s up in the kitchens, crafting a plate for someone who may or may not eat it. Felix says it’s a waste of time. Mercedes and Annette commend him for his actions, and Sylvain and Ingrid only look at him in quiet reservation. They’re all hurting, aren’t they? Ashe misses the days where they all ate together, laughing with no worries in the world.

Is it selfish to think his dishes alone could bring them back to such a time? He knows these alone won’t break the hold that rage has on Dimitri’s heart. Ashe can’t afford to be self-indulgent as such. 

All he can hope for is that things will get better. 

-

It’s a week later when Dimitri finally speaks.

“Ashe, why do you bother feeding a monster such as myself? Why must you waste your time on me?” His face turns slightly, staring down at the plate in his hands. “You are doing nothing but fueling my strength so I can rip that woman’s head from her shoulders.”

“As I said, Your Highness, I’m worried.” Ashe sets the plate down, and dares to take a step closer. 

“Do not waste your energy. I cannot rest until she is dead.” Ashe notes he’s looking at the plate. 

“I know my cooking isn’t anything like Dedue’s was,” at the mention of his name, Dimitri makes a strangled noise, “but I know he’d wish for you to eat well, in his absence. I’m sure he’ll tell you the same, when he returns.”

“Dedue is dead.” Dimitri turns the other way. “He died in my place five years ago. Do not fool me into thinking otherwise.”

Ashe can only look at the floor, a soft and sad sigh leaving him. “I believe he’s alive. And I know he would be happy to see you well. ...So please eat, Your Highness.” 

“Putting words in the mouths of the dead, are you?” Dimitri scoffs. It’s a pitiful sound, coming from him. “Do you truly think he would be pleased with what I’ve become?”   
  
“I think he would be happy to see you alive.” Ashe is, even if his heart’s aching. “I know we are.”

“And you think I could believe that? When all you’ve done is offer me looks of pity and disgust?” This is the longest they’ve talked in five years. It’s hard to be happy about it. “I have seen the same looks from you, Ashe. Do not lie to me.”

“I would never. Even if you’re suffering, even if you’re ignoring us…” Ashe takes in a deep breath. “I’m happy you’re here with us.” 

Almost, he wants to address Dimitri by name. But he doesn’t.

Dimitri’s silent after that. Ashe desperately wishes to know what’s running through his mind. A wave of sadness threatens to creep on him, and letting his emotions take the better of him isn’t a wise idea. 

When the atmosphere becomes unbearable, almost crushing, Ashe takes his leave once more. 

-

The morning after, he finds an empty plate in front of his door. Next to it lies a scrap of paper with messy writing on it, a short message scribbled in ink. 

  
_ Thank you, Ashe. _

Dimitri’s handwriting is still a mess. It’s hardly better than his own messy scrawl. A soft laugh is able to leave him, as the note is placed close to his chest.

A warm smile, accompanied by rosy cheeks, makes its way onto Ashe’s face.

Perhaps things will be okay after all.


End file.
